"All My Fault"

I have only had one real relationship in my past and it did not turn out the way that I wish it had. The time that I called someone mine was honestly some of the worst times in my life. I was young, naive, and did not really understand what love really felt like. Fast forward a couple of years and I seem to treat everyone that shows a liking to me the wrong way which is something that I don't mean to do. I guess I hold a wall up for reasons, but I think that I need to. At this point in my life I feel it would be unfair to the other person in my relationship because I feel I couldn't show them exactly how I felt in this chaotic thing that I call my life. I have come across amazing people, but recently ruined something that was nothing but good. It hurts to know that I ruined something that actually made me smile, but I think I just needed more time to really figure things out. This person is truly amazing and I am really sorry that I made them wait, I have no business telling them to wait. I may not be the best at showing how I really feel, but I swear that I do try the best that I can. Maybe my best just is not enough. I enjoyed every second that I spent with this person, they helped me through tough times and I can never thank them enough for that. I hold all the fault and I just wish the best for them because they truly deserve nothing but great things. 

Didn't understand the bond
It is too late, you're gone
I'm sorry for what I've done
I shouldn't have led you on

I couldn't show you my love 
I always filled up with fear
But now I realize that
I wish I had you here

Even though I put up a wall
I wish you would tear it down
You always made me smile
When my face showed a frown

I would give all I have
To go back to the start
Show you from the beginning
Is when you had my heart

I have no business
Asking for you to wait
It is not you, but myself
Who I should truly hate

All the good times we had
I swear I'll never forget
Not making you mine
Is a decision I will regret

It hurts to know I did wrong
I just want to sit and cry
No one to blame but me
I just want to run and die

I enjoyed holding your hand
I just didn't hold on tight
Walking alone in the dark
Won't make me feel alright

You are truly the best
I am glad that I met you
I'm stupid for doing this
We both know it's true

I hope nothing changes
I hope it stays the same
Because I know I'll be happy
When I hear your name