"Walking Alone"

Over the past week many different emotions were swirling around in my little mind and I kind of cracked and did not know how to deal with them. Sometimes it seems that I am walking alone, trying to face the world by myself and the pressure and stress takes it toll. I feel that I am a strong individual, I bottle up everything that I feel, but there are times that I just need to get them out, scream at the world, that is what this whole blog is about. I do not want to seem weak or that I am looking for attention, but I honestly feel that no one is really behind me in anything that I do. I feel that whenever something goes wrong, no matter what it is, I get blamed for it for some reason which hurts more than anything. I feel invisible, that people just walk through me without even caring that they are tearing down my spirits. After a little depression, I simply sweep everything under the cover and try to start all over again, brand new and without any problems. Even though the good times may not last too long, I try to cherish more than anything else. I hope people see that I am in fact human even though I may put up a strong wall, but if you knew everything that I have gone through, you would understand why I have to. Even though with this poem I may be asking people to feel sorry for me, that is not the reason why I wrote it. I just want people to know that I am here, that I can feel, and I don't appreciate all the bullshit that gets thrown my way. Here's to a better day, for me, and for everyone else!

It seems that I'm alone
Cannot get anyone to see
That I am still right here
They just pass through me 

I feel like I lose everyone
I turn around they disappear
I try to wipe the mirror
It never seems to stay clear

What have I done wrong
To be given all the blame
Even if I fixed everything
It just wouldn't be the same

I try my best to be nice
People only show me hate
Maybe I am horrible
Maybe I deserve this fate

I just cannot understand
Why I have to live this way
I'd give all that I have
To receive a better day

Things slip away from me
Because I'm not so strong
I try to grab hold of them
But I can't hold on for long

Things never go right
Makes me not want to live
People want to take from me
But I got nothing to give 

I feel like the outcast
I feel like the freak
Don't want to go on
My future looks so bleak

I keep on running 
Don't know where I'm going
Try to get away from it all
But the pain is now showing

My spirit has been spoken
Self esteem has hit a low
Everyone says it gets better 
But I honestly don't think so